I am unsure of how much you know about me. If you are just following along to this blog and do not know me in person, then you know I am a writer, but there is more to my story, just like everyone else. I suffer from severe bipolar disorder, OCD, along with a few other, disorders as you can tell from my official chart in the picture below:
Along with these disorders come built-in thoughts whose screams are deafening. These thoughts, however irrational and unreal, torment my everyday life. They cause suicidal ideation, and I have been known to taste the kiss of the razorblade more than a few times in my past.
When I was diagnosed at the age of 15, I felt overwhelmed and ashamed of my disorders. I was a freak. I couldn’t control my emotions, and I was forced to drop out of high school due to a nervous breakdown. Back then, I was ashamed of how I acted, ashamed of who I was, yet through therapy, and many stays in mental hospitals, I have learned to accept myself.
Every day is a struggle. These thoughts are slowly killing me, and no one understands why. Why was I tasked to carry these burdens? Was it to make me a better writer? A better, stronger person? I may not know the answers to any of these questions although I may try to understand them, I doubt I ever will. Yet, that doesn’t mean I will give up. No, I will continue to strive for greatness and achieve what I can before It is my time to leave this earth. I won’t let this illness take me. I will survive.
AuthorHayleyTimmons 