Pain. The feast of a razor upon your skin. Like a deafening scream drowned out by the hollowness of your tongue. Who am I? Where do I stand? Who have I become? I have felt pain. The kind like quicksand that runs through your veins at lightening speed. Filling your earthly vessel with nothing but concrete and remnants and scraps of who you used to be. Leaving nothing behind but a ravaged soul and an empty vessel. Pain, like the words my father spoke to me as he proclaimed me a burden. Pain, like the fire that rises deep within from rejection and torment of others. Pain, that is my own, but pain that is also the same as yours.
Love. Like the sweet melancholy tone of your voice as you speak to me. The low rumble of the thunder across the wet grass speaks to me. It tells me where I stand. Who I am. Why I am here. Unlike pain it lets me in on its secret and fills me with nothing short of light air and cool spring. As the days go by I can finally feel the sun on my face. See the bright colors of tomorrow as they are cast down from the skies and given their beautiful hue. Yet I still wonder. Why is it in this moment I am allowed to feel so free? The concrete in my veins has subsided for now. The remnants of my broken vessel has somehow mended in this time. But why?
I may not know the answers, I may not even know the source of such pleasure and pain. But what I do know is today, instead of quicksand, blood rushes through my veins. Instead of an empty vessel I am filled with hope and triumph. My scraps have pieced together and have created a brand new version of who I am. Today, I know what I want. Today, I am who I want to be. Today….I am free.
AuthorHayleyTimmons 